Starting Over

Before I put Mooky to sleep, I said I would probably wait a long time to get another animal.  I was wrong.

Meet the newest member of the White family:  Gadget.

After saying goodbye to Mooky, I was heartbroken.  I could not believe how sad I was and how much I missed that old dog.  He didn't do much, mostly slept, but I soon realized that I always knew he was there.  For 14 years, he was a constant presence and source of unconditional love, and I grieved for that bond so badly.  

I began going to the Hamilton County SPCA in Blue Ash and Northside, checking out all of the available dogs and puppies.  I saw a ton of adult dogs that I would've loved to adopt, but I really wanted the kids to experience having a puppy, and at the ages they are, this would be the last opportunity.  With no available puppies at the SPCA, I searched Petfinder.com and looked through pages and pages of pictures.  I swore I wanted a dog that looked nothing like Mooky, but I quickly realized that my eyes went right towards the hound faces on every page I pulled up.  Finally, I found a picture of a dog under the heading of "E-puppies" at The Peppermint Pig Thrift and Gift.  Yes, it's part thrift store, part animal rescue.  My friend, Sandy and I drove out there after work and walked in to see this:

I was a little nervous at first that this was some sort of puppy mill operation.  I lifted out the puppy I came for (his name was Earl), and he struggled to stay awake for me.  While I held him, Sandy asked the owner questions about where she got the animals, etc.  I am pleased to tell you, this lady is the real deal.  She truly rescues adult dogs and cats as well as puppies and kittens that would either be sent to the SPCA or destroyed.  Everything worked out beautifully, and I knew it was meant to be.

I brought him home on Lauren's 5th birthday.  After Lauren opened her gifts, I had Ben a read a note that was in an envelope addressed to him and Lauren.  It read:

Ben and Lauren.

It's been 3 weeks since we said goodbye, and I miss you very much.  I know you have been missing me, too, but don't worry-Heaven is worth the wait-it's awesome!

With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming soon, I wanted to give you someone who would make you happy. I know he will never replace me, but I know you will love him and treat him as good as you did me.

Love,

Mooky

They were very surprised and excited.  Ben kept telling me all night that I was the best Mommy in the whole world!  I'll take it any way I can get it-I'm not above bribery!!

Gadget is doing really well, and we are thoroughly enjoying having a puppy again.  I haven't had a puppy since 1989, when my parents got Missy!  He is a lot of fun, and is helping all of our hearts to heal from the loss of Mooky.  

Saying Goodbye...

Today, Mark and I said "goodbye" to our dog, Mooky.  He was such a special dog, and we are completely heartbroken.

Mooky was born November 26, 1997 and was euthanized October 27, 2012.  He got to spend his last moments at home, eating hot dogs, pizza, bacon, and Chips Ahoy cookies.  It was just Mark and I in his last moments, just like it had been when we got him nearly 14 years ago.

In his memory, I thought I would include a photo scrapbook of our time with Mooky.

This is a photo of Mooky when I first got him from UC, May 1999

Mooky's first exam @ Madeira Veterinary Hospital

Mooky was my first attempt at being a nurturing mother.  He went everywhere I went for nearly 3 years!

I used to lay with him and imagine how sad this day would be.  My imagination didn't compare to the real thing.

This picture was taken the day I brought Ben home from the hospital.  Mooky was so happy to see me, I'd been gone for 2 days!

We were nervous at first, wondering how Mooky would handle a baby.  We learned very quickly that he would never hurt him.

Mooky liked to be close to Ben, probably because I was always close by.

Mooky was very tolerant of that little boy.  He poked him, pulled his tail, fell on him, handed him his dog food one kernel at a time-not once did he growl at him or bite him, even when I think he should have!

A boy and his dog.

Just when Ben stopped tormenting him, another baby came along!

All the kids

Mooky was happy that Lauren wasn't as "active" as Ben was.

Well, she still took advantage of his sweet disposition...

Mooky began losing his hearing and vision in 2009.  

I started noticing that Mooky was getting sick in late 2010.  It was confirmed in January 2011 that he had kidney disease. 

Mooky began to sleep a lot more, and it became hard for him to get around due to his arthritis.  

Mooky was a one-of-a-kind dog that changed my life.  If it weren't for him (and the other dogs at UC) I would not have gained the hands-on experience that I needed to be a good technician.  He showed me what unconditional love was, and was the most loyal, forgiving dog I have ever known.  He provided me with comfort so many times that a human couldn't-just by sitting next to me and leaning into my side.  In the end, he taught me the most important thing a dog owner has to be able to do:  let go.

I can't describe to you what it felt like to be the one giving him the final injection that would stop his heart.  It was the hardest thing I have had to endure to date, and I wish I never would have to endure this again.  Unfortunately, I know that I will have another dog one day, and the cycle will start all over again.  One thing I know for sure, there will never be another Mooky.

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes...

Wow.  What a week-and it's only Wednesday!

On Monday, Mark called me at work and informed me that he had been let go from his job.  I thought he was kidding (because it's Mark), but quickly found out he wasn't.  I completely fell apart, and I thank God for the co-workers I have who gave me hugs, empathy, offered help, and just let me talk and express my concerns and feelings.  I work for an amazing man, and after 14 years, my co-workers are family to me (as well as some of the best friends I've ever had).  

In the two days since, time seems to be standing still.  There seems to be so much to do; so many people to call and  so many bills that need reviewed to see where we can cut costs.  There are so many decisions that affect the kids, and that's what is so hard for us.  For example, we realized that we had to pull Lauren out of preschool.  It's $135/week that we can no longer afford.  That makes both of us feel terrible because she loves going there, but it doesn't make good sense to spend that much money when Mark is at home all day. I hate having to change her world, yet again; she just got used to preschool!  Other things like: do we need to get rid of all luxuries like cable, our cell phones, etc.-which I think would technically make us Amish.  Ugh.

I'll keep you posted on how things are going.  One thing all of you can do for us is pray to the one person who can help us through this-Jesus Christ.  I have faith that God is with us, and I know that he will provide for us as long as we are willing to do our part.  

Thank You, 

Kelly (and Mark)

The Weight Update

One of the main reasons I started this blog was to share my weight loss journey with everyone-hoping that it would inspire other people who struggle with weight to re-gain control of their life.  It's been 2 years since my first weight-related blog post, so I thought it was about time for an update on how I'm doing.  I must warn you:  this could bore you to tears if you could really care less about my weight loss journey!  Sorry!

Hayride pic from October 2010

Me celebrating my 32nd birthday November 2010

In 2 Years...
As soon as the Miller Challenge was over in the fall of 2010, I didn't lose another pound.  Not one!  I struggled to even stay close to the weight I was at the end of the challenge for about 9 months, but in the fall of 2011 it started creeping back up again.  From the fall of 2010 to about a month ago, I managed to gain back all of the weight I lost plus 8 lbs.  

The Un-Doing
You might ask, "How does that happen?  Why would you un-do all of your hard work?"  The answer:  frustration.  After 6 months of working my butt off, the holidays came and I decided to take a little "break."  After the holidays were over, I had gained about 8lbs, but that wasn't that concerning to me.  In February 2011, I started back on the program, but this time, nothing happened.  I would give it a week or so, see no results, and then go back to eating things I wasn't supposed to be eating every day.  This cycle repeated itself over and over.  I would workout more-nothing.  I was going to the gym 5 days a week, lifting weights and doing cardio, and seeing no results on the scale OR in my clothes.  I went to the Dr., had blood tests done, and worked out harder with no success.  So, I just gave up and went back to eating junk and not working out at all.

July 4th 2012

August 2012

The problem?  At the time I didn't understand, but now it's very clear.  With the help of my cousin, Trish, and (believe it or not) the TV show Extreme Makeover:  Weight Loss Edition, I started to see where I went wrong.  First of all, I had stopped eating several smaller meals throughout the day and began eating 2 or 3 big meals.  Secondly, I had let the old habit of eating junk food back into my life.  I had lost my willpower and I was trying to make up for it by exercising harder.  It didn't work. 

I'm Back!

For no logical reason other than God's amazing grace, I have finally re-gained the focus and determination that I had 2 years ago when I started Body For Life (and lost 44lbs).  I have prayed for that for a long time, and it appears that God's timing was-now!

After watching the Extreme Makeover show, I bought a book called Choose To Lose by Chris Powell (the trainer from Extreme Makeover).  I read it cover to cover and was bummed at first-it was a lot like Body For Life (still eating small meals throughout the day, still working out 6 days/week, still get a day to eat whatever you want).  I thought, "Oh great!  This didn't work for me before, it's not going to work for me now."  As I read on, I discovered that there are some major differences.  One difference is that you alternate between high carb and low carb days-called carb cycling.  Another difference is that there is a big emphasis on "eating clean," which is limiting the amount of processed foods and eating only whole, natural foods-something I was looking into anyway.  The biggest difference is that this man has worked with the "super-obese" and helped people lose over 200lbs!  He has a solution for the "dieter's plateau" and an entire section on "troubleshooting."  I felt like THAT was the missing ingredient for me; BFL was a 12 week program for losing 25-30lbs and this was a life-long solution!

Where I'm At Now
I have been doing carb-cycling for 4 weeks now; I have lost a total of 13lbs and my clothes are fitting better!  I won't lie-it's the hardest thing I have ever done.  Each night, I plan out everything I am going to eat the next day (5 meals a day to plan!).  I have to prepare everything I'm going to eat instead of grabbing a box from the freezer or a can from the cabinet.  I have more dishes from measuring and portioning out food than ever before!  However, I am eating healthier than I have my entire life-eating only whole, natural foods 6 days a week.  I still thoroughly enjoy my day to eat whatever I want, but I honestly feel so terrible the next day, I don't mind getting back into the carb cycle (I think that's part of the reason he encourages you to "go big" one day a week).  I am back to doing interval cardio workouts 6 days a week and doing a 10 minute toning workout 3 days a week.

The best part is that I am back to feeling great and being a healthy example to my kids.  Ben is at the age now where he understands my struggle with weight, and he encourages me by walking, jogging, or going on bike rides with me (we did a 6.9 mile bike ride last week!).  I am cooking at home 6 nights a week, and everyone is really enjoying the new foods that we are eating.

I'll keep you posted on my progress each month, thanks for reading!

Come On, Gurl! Pt. 2

Well, I didn't think it would take long to get another installment of Come On, Gurl!  My life is filled with these precious moments.  Kings Island is full of sights and experiences that leave me scratching my head.  You may think that with Kings Island closing soon, the number of entries will go down.  I doubt it!

While visiting Kings Island for the last time, Lauren and I went to the bathroom.  Whenever we go to the bathroom at a big place, I always make her stay with me in the same stall.  The problem:  Lauren always has to go first and then taunts me by starting to unlock the stall door as soon as my pants are down-and I'm at my most vulnerable.  When she did it this time, I said, "Lauren!  Why do you always do this to me?"  Before she could answer, I hear a voice from the next stall over: "My son always does that to me, too.  Last time we went to Target, he left his stall door open and someone came in on him.  He was freaking out!"

Speaking of freaking out, I know my eyes bulged a little bit.  There are two problems with that story:  1) That was not an example of your kid opening the stall door on you and 2) You're talking to a total stranger in a public restroom while sitting on a toilet.  Really?  Are we really going to share stories while we sit on a toilet,  pants around our knees, the faint smell of feces in the air, separated only by a thin wall of steel?  Is it just me or could that story have waited for hand-washing time?  

Anyone who knows me knows I love to talk, but even I draw the line at toilet talking to strangers!  

Come on, Gurl!!!!

School's In!

It's official!  The Summer of Fun has ended at the White household.  I had a lot of fun with my kids this Summer, but I'm glad that they are both starting new adventures this fall.  Going to all the places we went is fun, but even that gets boring after awhile!  

Ben

Ben started 5th grade this year, and is loving it so far!  Last year was very difficult for him; the class seemed unorganized because his homeroom teachers worked 1/2 days (1 worked AM, 1 worked PM), and he needs as much help as possible with organization. This year, his homeroom teacher pasted the class schedule to his planner, had him write what needed to go where in all of his folders, and seems to be a good fit for him.  Ben said she called him "Speedy Gonzalez" for finishing his work so quickly.  I am hoping this year will bring a fresh perspective for him; I don't want him to hate school or else his chances of wanting to go to college will be zero.  He is starting to get homework this week, so hopefully we will continue to have a happy student!

Lauren

We were expecting to start Lauren at preschool on Sept. 4th, but we started her a week earlier.  Her babysitter, Carol, has been on crutches for about a month with what she thought was a bad sprain.  It ended up being multiple ankle fractures that might require surgery!  When I went to pick Lauren up last Thursday, Carol informed us that she needed time off-effective immediately.  I completely understood, but that meant that Lauren wouldn't be back!  It was very hard to say goodbye to someone that has taken such extraordinary care of both of my kids from the time they were 6 weeks old until they started preschool.  For 10 years, she has been a huge part of our life, and I will never forget how much she did for my family.  

We had begun discussing preschool with Lauren a long time ago, but she knew it was coming down to the wire.  It was sad because I could see the stress on her face when we would talk about it.  She kept going back and forth-"I want to go, I don't want to go."  When we told her that she would be starting this week, she said, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."  

Monday morning, she was reluctant to get up, too nervous to eat, and talked about how much she didn't want to go to preschool the whole way there.  Mark followed me and Ben came along in support of his little sis.  She was very shy when she walked in, clinging to my leg and not talking to any of the teachers.  We took her around to all the toys, Ben kept saying, "Look at this, Lauren!  Do you want to play with me?"  No, she didn't want to play with any of them.  We finally told her goodbye, and she lost it.  She had to be pried off of my leg, and was screaming, "Mommy!"  When I got to the door, she yelled, "I just want a hug!"  At once, Mark and I both turned around and went up and hugged her.  I'm sure the teachers were thinking, "NOOOO!!!"  We couldn't help it; that wasn't going to be our last memory of her for the day!  We left to the sound of our "baby"crying, with a lump in our throat.  Ben broke the silence: "Well, that's going to ruin my day."  I love that kid-so much like his father...

I said a prayer on the way to work, asking God to be with her and give her peace.  I called when I arrived to check on her-she was doing fine!  Mark picked her up that afternoon, and found this face:

Now, here I sit typing my blog while she is at preschool!  She would rather go than stay home with me (on

my last Wednesday off) because she would like to "play with her new friends."  God is great!

She's holding up post-it notes, I don't know why!

Come On, Gurl!

One of my favorite things about football season is Monday Night Football on ESPN.  They have a segment called, "Come on, Man!"  During this segment, they show dumb mistakes football players made in previous games while giving their own commentary. 

I would like to introduce to you, "Come on, Gurl!"  This will be a recurring segment on my blog as well.  When the moment presents itself, I would like to capture it and give it a commentary that fits. 


Prepare yourself for the first installment of, "Come on, Gurl!"

So...you're wondering why 3 out of 4 kids are staring at your crotch, are you?  Here's a tip:  next time you're at Gabriel Brothers, grab a size or ten bigger so we all don't have to wonder if we are seeing inner thigh fat or part of your female genitalia.  Come on, GURL!!!!


After walking around Kings Island all summer, looking at people not wearing appropriate clothing sizes, I couldn't take it anymore!!!!  I had to snap this picture as a public service announcement to all fat people. I am one of you, and I have learned that buying a smaller size does not make me look smaller.  Please...cover up and have mercy on the children!!!!